How to Plan a Casual Get-Together with Three Friends in Only 27 Texts Over 14 Weeks

Now that you and your friends are all fully vaccinated, you’re probably dying to hang out with some friends; maybe an easy, casual chill sesh. But with a busy holiday season, personal lives, work, and SO many great HBO Max shows to watch, how can you possibly get together in the same physical location, at the same time? 

If you’re like me, you probably thought it was impossible. After the 12th message saying “Sorry I can’t do that day,” I would’ve exploded in a fit of rage, throwing my iPhone in front of an oncoming 7000-series Metro train. 

But that was before I developed my fail-proof plan. I’ll let you in on the secret now. Just follow these 12 easy steps!

Step 1. 14 weeks in advance: Let your friends know your calendar has just opened up. 

Step 2. Send a formal “Save the Date” at least 12 weeks ahead of time. 

Step 3. Follow up the Save the Date with at least two emails and one group text.

Step 4. Remember, you’re only inviting three friends to a casual event. Send individual texts asking what they’re up to next weekend. After they say they’re busy, explain you actually meant the next weekend after Friday the 13th. 

Step 5. WAIT FIVE DAYS. No contact—for any reason. I don’t care if Jack got engaged or if Andrea’s baby was born. No texts.

Step 6. Now that they’re wondering what happened to you, follow up with, “Crazy week! I have some HUGE news that I can only tell you in person.”

Step 7. At this point, they’re hooked. They might even want to hear what your news is sooner than your target date. Don’t give in! There’s no way all of them can get together so soon.

Step 8. Keep scheduling. At this point, they have agreed to get lunch. Or brunch. Or just to meet up near Dupont maybe. Don’t worry about the location, just lock in a day and don’t let anything in their lives interfere. 

Step 9. Confident your friends can meet up on that date? Now say you can only meet precisely at 3:27 pm. I can’t explain why, but when you give them that exact time they fall into line.

Step 10. Finally, continue to be wishy-washy about the location until the last second. Do NOT make any decisions or name specific places. Just continue asking in a roundabout way, dropping hints like, “Is there someplace that has tapas?” or “I haven’t been to Eastern Market in a while.”

Step 11. At this point, someone else will say “FINE! Let’s just go to Cava Mezze in Eastern Market for Brunch! 3:27 pm! We’ve been talking about this for WEEKS!”

Step 12. Begin the process again when one person cancels an hour before you’re supposed to meet up.