Citing “a moist gaping hole” in the market, the Skittles brand has introduced a new cartoon they hope will entice upset M&M fans and capture a throbbing demand for adult candy mascots.

But instead of hinting at sexiness with flirty cartoon eyelashes, voluptuous lips, and skanky knee-high go-go boots, the Green Skittle appears to have taken it to a new level, baring a human-like set of anatomically-correct labia at the nadir of her spherical body. 

“We all know the green M&Ms make you horny. But did you ever think about the Green Skittle? It’s the same dye!” commented Skittles spokesperson Elliott Lawrence. 

Lawrence explains that the Green Skittle will have a sexy TikTok dance trend of her own, in addition to a “too hot for mainstream social media” OnlyFans account. 

“While we had enormous success with the Little Lad, we wanted to expand into a more grown-up, hornier demographic.” And so, the Green Skittle was created. 

What will become of the Little Lad? “Oh, he’s not going anywhere. Maybe the Little Lad will soon become a little man,” Lawrence hinted. “You’ll have to subscribe on OnlyFans to find out.” 

“Hopefully this will distract people from figuring out that all the Skittles are actually the same flavor, just in different colors.”