Issue No. 42

"Our Bad, We Legit Forgot That Children Under 12 Are People" Says CDC

"That's Right, Commuting is Back Baby!" And Other Phrases You Never Wanted to Hear

1. I missed my cubicle 

2. The metro is on fire again 

3. I think these dress pants are comfortable 

4. This is a great excuse to wear the cute high heels

5. That drink looks delicious. May I taste it?

Kohl's Rebrands Kohl's Cash As Cryptocurrency For Thrifty Moms

Move over Dogecoin, the newest Cryptocurrency is actually one of the oldest, Kohl’s Cash BAYBBEEE! Mom’s you’ve known from the start that with Kohl’s Cash, “It’s like getting paid to shop!” Why not dip your toes into blockchain exchange-traded funds and you can even text your kids “much wow, many thanks” while buying a truly darling Ralph Lauren polo shirt! 

Eckington Manager: "My Biggest Accomplishment For 2020 Is That I Learned to Micromanage Virtually"

"We Should Get Drinks" Beats Out "We Should Zoom" As Top Small Talk Lie

BRAVE! This Dupont Man Spent 8 Hours Writing Sick Burns in the Popville Comments Section

Hoards of Middle Schoolers Are Loitering On The Mall Again, The Earth Is Healing 

DC Area University of Virginia Alumni Use Remembrance Event for Charlottesville Based Brewery Owner as Opportunity to Expand Their Professional Networks