Issue No. 41

Brood X Cicadas Find DC Unrecognizable After 17 Years of Human Gentrification

How to Manage Rage When an Online Form Does Not Include 'District of Columbia' 

• Go to brunch in Adams Morgan

• Have a picnic at the National Arboretum

• Read a book at Busboys and Poets

• Get something cool at The Outrage

• Read articles from The Cherry Swamp!

"People Just Don't Want to Work Anymore" Area McDonald's Franchisors Complain at their Annual Corporate Yachtstravaganza

Success! It Only Took This Columbia Heights Man 8 Hours To Get to The Wharf

Black Bears Emerge from Hibernation in Maryland; Not Even in the Top 10 Reasons Why No One Wants to Go There

Finally-Unmasked Adult Acne is Also Ready for the Best Summer Ever

"Where did the weekend go?" Asks Woman Who Had a 9 Hour Sunday Brunch 

Spring is in full swing and the Covid-19 vaccine rollout will be accompanied with lots of people enjoying one of DC’s favorite things: Brunch! However, for Marlene Compass, a 27 year old woman from Adams Morgan, time went really fast last weekend. She had a 9 hour Sunday brunch.

“I got my second dose of the vaccine two weeks ago. I was ready to do as many things as I could do outside. Sadly the weekend was done in a blink of an eye,” said Marlene. “I only had a little nice brunch with my friends at Mezè. We got some food, and bottomless mimosas of course. And all of the sudden it was 9pm. It’s not fair.”

“On Sunday I was planning to go to Safeway and get groceries, call my mom for her birthday, and ride my bike through The National Mall,” said Marlene. “But I woke up late so I just went to Mezè at noon. One thing led to another, and we ended up ordering tons of appetizers plus ten mimosas? It’s hard to keep track when you are having fun. I thought we were done by 3pm but it was already 9pm and all I wanted was to go to bed.”

At the time of publication, Marlene was working on her to-do list for the weekend. Then she got a call from her friend Britney and reserved a brunch appointment at Slash Run for both Saturday and Sunday.

After a Year in Remission FOMO Resurfaces All Over The DC Region

Best Beach Read Audiobooks to Escape Into Amongst Unsolicited Comments on Your Body From Relatives

Tik Tok Teens Worry About What They'll Drink This Summer Amid Simultaneous Oat Milk and Boba Shortages

“Bubble Tea is like the closest thing to Four Loko my parents even let me have. This freaking blows.”

• Tyler, 18

“It’s going to be impossible to let people know that I know dairy milk is bad for the environment now and that I care about climate change.”

• Josh, 17

“What am I supposed to do with my double wide boba-sucking metal straw now?”

• Mikayla, 16