DECODING: Is His Emoji Usage Referring To In-Season Appalachian Peaches or Your Ass?

It’s that time of year again -- peach season! Things can get a little confusing with your new fling around this time, as you wonder if he’s referring to the ripe, juicy Appalachian peaches in our backyard or if he’s super into your booty. That’s where we come in -- we’ll help you in figuring out if he’s talking about peaches or butts; just follow this guide.

An amateur peach-ass sleuth might read this immediately as “I love your ass.” But that sleuth would be wrong and there’s a major clue here. The ellipses implies he wants to say more -- what more? The exact peach recipe of yours he loves. It could be cobbler, bruschetta, or jam. The surprise awaits.

Is he professing himself to be an ass-man, one who gets weak in the knees for booties? Not if he sent this text in July or August -- this is a man attempting to tell you about his stone fruit allergy. Peach season is a rough season for these dudes, and he’s just trying to stay safe. 

This is a man with pure, wholesome excitement to eat peaches! Get him to an orchard immediately!