Spring Forward or Fall Back? A Seasonal Guide to Choosing Which Ex to Booty Call

As we spring our clocks forward, new beginnings are everywhere. With cuffing season behind us (thank goddess!), there’s no need to stay in the same butt rut. That’s right, queens and kings – it’s time to change your booty call rotation. 

Don’t worry, you won’t have to find an *actually* new hookup. Spring is all about pastels, so scroll through your contact list and find someone who looks good in salmon! Filter out the assholes with S/Os, and start your search! (But hey, ethical non-monogamy is very chic this season so you do you.) You’ve already seen all of these fuckers’ feet so you know whose toenails will be kind on your new bamboo sheets.

Shoot a quick “U up?” once you’ve found your target. But that’s not enough for a vernal vixen like you. Send a few peach emojis to some uggos from your list just in case. Soon enough, you’ll have a horny hottie (or hot enough) knocking on your door.

Bonus points if they’re good with a camera and can snap some thirst traps of you to save for your summer Tinder profile!