LOCAL HERO? McPherson Square Man Gets Bagel at 'Call Your Mother' Doesn't Post About it on Instagram

Issue No. 26

LOCAL HERO? McPherson Square Man Gets Bagel at 'Call Your Mother' Doesn't Post About it on Instagram

DC Government Offers Teachers Union a "Die-From-Home-Policy" 

Global CO2 Levels Skyrocket as World Exhales Collective Sigh of Relief

Shaw Woman Gaslit By Zoom Constantly Telling Her "Your Internet Is Unstable, Yells "So Am I!"

"Back in My Day We Appreciated Systematic Inequality!" Says Chevy Chase Seniors After Hoarding Vaccine

Coworker Finally Retires Oversized Earrings In Month 11 of Zoom Calls

As the resident “Peppy Patty” of her office,  Brenda started out work from home enthusiastic to show off her extensive collection of large earrings, collected over the years from various art festivals, craft shows and friends. While Zoom limited her from reaching her full business casual potential, she was positive she could still bring her A game thanks to a seemingly endless rotation of statement earrings. Co-worker and friend, Sarah, tells the Cherry Swamp, “One day I noticed she was just wearing simple, small gold hoops. They were such a big departure from the norm that I had to check on her to make sure she was ok.” Luckily, the Cherry Swamp was able to reach Brenda for comment and she informed us she had decided to retire her oversized earrings due to sustainability concerns. “I feared the novelty had worn off since I’d cycled through my 34 pairs about 5 times already and my ears were starting to strain.” Brenda let us know she’d thrown a private retirement ceremony for her most loved pairs before performing a full burial at sea.

National Guard Troops Develop Taste for Jumbo Slice, Go-Go Music, Non-Profit Employment, Consider Staying

42 Year Old Man Googles Lifelong Best Friend In Hopes of Finding His Phone Number

"I Didn't Want to Be Boxed In Artistically," Coronavirus Shows Off Creative Range With New Mutations

Elimination of Military Checkpoints Destroys One Remaining Social Interaction for Penn Quarter Resident

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